I vaguely remember New Year’s Eve 2015. We watched the New Years show on BBC 1 and I remember Bryan Adams playing some of his many classics in front of a huge crowd in London. We were all awake at midnight and in a break from feeding we all watched some fireworks from the window. Miss P was two weeks old and my existence was now one of ‘cluster’ feeds, lost breast pads (randomly found in various locations around the house!) and random bursts of emotion ( from both me and Mr P!). All I was continually told were perfectly normal and that it would all get easier. At the time I didn’t know what to believe, I was just taking each day as it came and regularly looking in disbelief at this tiny new person in front of me, each day becoming less and less of a dreamy blur.
Looking back now that evening feels like a million years ago and looking back at the past 7 months I honestly don’t know where the time has gone. These are just a few things of the things that stand out from this time:
If I could take a Tardis and head back to the beginning of this year I would go and visit myself and just say do whatever works for you and trust your gut. There have been a few times in the past 7 months where I have doubted and worried if what I was doing was the right thing. Whether it was over the use of a dummy or deciding to give Miss P a night time bottle I near tortured myself over some of these decisions. I still do it now but every time I have to remind myself to trust my gut and look and see that she is doing great and whatever works best for us is the right thing to do.
Other mummy support
We have been lucky to have close friends and family members have babies around the same time. This is not only precious for the babies but also for us mummies! Just having somebody to sound off to about how much sleep you didn’t get that night is great! Being able to swap tips on feeding, sleeping habits is really helpful but most of all just knowing that you can do this at 4am in the morning over text and getting a reply is AMAZING!
Tiredness has a lot to answer for
Sleep deprivation sucks! it’s evil and horrible and it makes you feel like somebody you don’t recognise sometimes! But you somehow get through it. I don’t always know how but you do and before you know it the day has gone by and you have achieved more than you ever thought you would have at 3am that morning.
When me and my sister were younger we fought like cat and dog. It seemed like we had nothing in common even only being two years apart in age. I can confidently say that my sister has been my rock since the day Miss P came into this world. (Of course Mr P goes without saying !). Having two young girls of her own she is what I would call a pro (although she argues not). Much of her advice has been the best I have had. Endless texts back and forth regarding night feeds (and the fear of them!), napping tips and just all round general advice on what to do when I’m worried about something Miss P related. She has been amazing and she will never fully understand how much I appreciate her support and how much she has helped me through this new mummy life.
There have been some really tough days as a new mum but then there have been mostly amazing days when I look around at my new life and just take a moment to be thankful for what I have. 2015 ended on the highest note it could have done and 2016 has been the most amazing/challenging year ever! Whilst it may be a good few months until New Year’s Eve, I think this year I will be looking back on the biggest year of my life , having a boogie to Bryan Adams and raising a glass (or maybe two) to this crazy new life with less of a dreamy blur around me.